I really needed to restock on diapers and the closest planet was Dac. I did what any baby jedi would do. I landed as soon as I could. Took a minute since my protocol droid was making a fuss and distracting me again. He’s such a bother sometimes.
When we landed, my crew and I were overwhelmed by an intense fish odor. Unsure of the source I made it my mission to fix this problem while questing for more diapers. I sent my droid back onto the ship to retrieve our only can of febreze. Autumn Spice. Our favorite scent.
As soon as the can was in my hand I was approached by one of the locals. A fishy looking fellow. He called himself a Mon Calamari.
I was unaware that their odor was a permanent condition, so naturally, I doused him with the entire contents of the air freshener in an attempt to rescue him from a foul smelling curse.
HUGE MISTAKE.
I took a step back as he began to make awkward guttural sounds while swinging his arms around. After his eyes stopped burning he turned on me and glared ( i think he was glaring…only the right eye was looking at me). And then…it happened. The worst experience of my entire baby jedi career.
I was fish slapped.
This giant tuna slapped me in the face with his stinky sucker covered hand.
I can honestly say that I will NEVER spray a Mon Calamari with anything (febreze, water, canned cheese, etc.) ever again.
After that we opted to go somewhere else to find diapers that were less….scented.
It was a tough lesson, but one that had to be learned.

(((#BabyJedi tip7: When face to face with a Mon Calamari, it’s not a good idea to spray him with Febreze. Fight the urge or be fish slapped.)))