I really needed to restock on diapers and the closest planet was Dac. I did what any baby jedi would do. I landed as soon as I could. Took a minute since my protocol droid was making a fuss and distracting me again. He’s such a bother sometimes.
When we landed, my crew and I were overwhelmed by an intense fish odor. Unsure of the source I made it my mission to fix this problem while questing for more diapers. I sent my droid back onto the ship to retrieve our only can of febreze. Autumn Spice. Our favorite scent.
As soon as the can was in my hand I was approached by one of the locals. A fishy looking fellow. He called himself a Mon Calamari.
I was unaware that their odor was a permanent condition, so naturally, I doused him with the entire contents of the air freshener in an attempt to rescue him from a foul smelling curse.
HUGE MISTAKE.
I took a step back as he began to make awkward guttural sounds while swinging his arms around. After his eyes stopped burning he turned on me and glared ( i think he was glaring…only the right eye was looking at me). And then…it happened. The worst experience of my entire baby jedi career.
I was fish slapped.
This giant tuna slapped me in the face with his stinky sucker covered hand.
I can honestly say that I will NEVER spray a Mon Calamari with anything (febreze, water, canned cheese, etc.) ever again.
After that we opted to go somewhere else to find diapers that were less….scented.
It was a tough lesson, but one that had to be learned.

(((#BabyJedi tip7: When face to face with a Mon Calamari, it’s not a good idea to spray him with Febreze. Fight the urge or be fish slapped.)))

The day was going awesome. I had food, watched sesame street, and hung out with Mommy. Then it happened. My mommy said it was time to see the doctor.
I was excited. My doctor is a funny little man that cracks jokes and knows how to make his patients laugh. I had no idea that this particular visit would be so horrible. Silly me.
We got there and everything went as usual. We sat in the waiting room, got called back, they checked my weight, and then I got to play with the doctor. All of this was very routine.
Then…she came in. The nurse. The one with the funny rubber ducky pajamas (very deceptive) and happy red hair. She smiled at me. I knew something fishy was going on when my mommy started to tell me everything was fine.
I looked for my lightsaber only to realize I had left it at home….big mistake.
Now, before you jump my case for being forgetful, you have to understand that this NEVER happens. My lightsaber is usually always with me hidden away in my invisible diaper hilt. But today…Mommy changed my clothes before we left and she distracted me from my only defense by tickling me. It was all part of a giant needle conspiracy.
This ducky wearing red head prepped her tools and held me down. In that instant, there was only one thing I could do. I warned her by bearing my teeth. I guess she thought I was smiling since I don’t actually have any teeth yet. But she was wrong.
First poke. I grunted and glared such an intense baby jedi glare that even Jabba himself would have coiled up in fear. But not her. Second poke came.
There was nothing I could do. I was helpless. A single baby jedi caught with his sleeper off. At this point. I only had once option. Crying.
As soon as he first tear rolled down my face my mommy as right there to pick me up and hug me. I felt weak needing assistance, but even a baby jedi such as myself needs a little help once and a while.
Next time, the nurse will feel the burn of my lightsaber…..

BabyJedi tip #5: Before going to the doctor, don’t forget your lightsaber or you might be fighting off needles with nothing but your gums.

It was nap time….I could sense it. I am very in tune with the force despite my small stature and constant need for formula.
My eyes were tired and I could not keep myself from yawning. I fought the urge to drift into hibernation mode. ‘NOT YET’ I told myself. Fist….I must find my sleeping buddy.
It must have been my tired state. I can’t think of any other reason for such a terrible mistake.
You must understand, it is extremely rare for a Baby Jedi, like myself, to confuse his favorite teddy for Master Yoda.
I know…
It was horrible.
When I woke up there was an odor that reminded me of my worst poopy diaper combined with Daddy’s burps, and that is pretty bad.
While I hid my nose in my sheets Master Yoda explained to me what had happened.
“Tired, you were…..”
He then explained how I had brought him to bed instead of my teddy. Since he is getting older it was his nap time as well. So he didn’t protest and used my mistake as a way to get in some well needed stinky Z’s.

BabyJedi tip #4:NEVER mistake Yoda for your favorite teddy. He’s not soft and his breath could have ended the clone wars with one strike.